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Attention boys and girls, grab your Speedo or swimsuit, cell phone, and tiara, because the legendary Mama Tits has a new adventure waiting just for you.
Perfectly named Mama’s Luxury Tours, it combines Mama’s over the top embrace of life with an unparalleled level of luxury. Designed with the LGBTQIA+ community and allies in mind, the maiden voyage took place on April 4th 2024, and two more tours are planned this season as part of the soft launch.
The next sailing is set for April 25th, and a special May 23rd Pride sailing is planned. A summer break will be observed, and then it will be full steam ahead for the 2024/2025 Winter Season. The tours are $300 USD per person, which covers everything, including gratuities to the crew. Reservations may be made through the website www.MamasLuxuryTours.com Sailings will be scheduled on the fourth Thursday of every month, and will depart from the Los Muertos Pier, located at Francisca Rodriguez 121, Zona Romantica, near Cuates y Cuetes.
Guests may begin arriving at the pier between 10:00am and 10:30 am, then at approximately 10:30 am everyone boards the water taxi for a quick two minute ride out to where the luxury yacht is moored a short distance offshore.
A refreshingly cool towel awaits each guest as they are welcomed onto the yacht with a charcuterie board and cocktails. It’s anchors up at 11:00am, and then the adventure begins.
Mama will be onboard, holding court in full yacht regalia, and as she shared with me, “Sometimes I just want to let go and feel wonderful, and yacht days is when I share that with everyone.”
There are eight crew members, including two specialty servers who are exclusively dedicated to caring for Mama’s guests. Showers, towels, sunscreen and Dramamine are all provided, though the movement of the yacht may be less than what guests are normally accustomed to, due to a state of the art stabilizer.
The yacht holds up to sixty people, but to make it a completely comfortable experience, Mama limits each tour to thirty five pampered passengers. Once the yacht has dropped anchor at a semi private location, toys will be deployed, and it’s time for some fun in the sun and water prior to a hot buffet lunch, that is expertly prepared onboard.
The leisurely meal is accompanied by the incredibly talented Diego Guerrero performing in the salon. After lunch is finished, a leisurely cruise ensues; the route varying depending on sea conditions. At approximately 4:00pm, the graceful yacht will again moor offshore of Los Muertos Beach, and the same water taxi that transported guests to the yacht in the morning, will return them to the pier as the tour ends.
As Mama and I chatted outside of The Palm recently, I learned of the vision behind her lifelong dream that is now coming to fruition.
She shared, “I’m trying to create something that is not yet part of the landscape that I see,” Mama continued, “I want my guests to feel like a King or Queen for a day, because we all deserve that.”
Mama smiled, mentioning, “This is a true live aboard yacht, you’ve heard of the boat that is at the end of the dock, well this is it.” As the conversation continued, we chatted about the incredible diversity of tour options being offered in Puerto Vallarta.
Mama emphasized that she encourages everyone to enjoy all the wonderful boat tours that are offered here in PV, “We just hope that Mama’s Luxury Tours are part of that rotation of experiences they choose,” Mama shared.
As our time drew to a close, a passerby recognized Mama, and asked about her new venture. With her famous larger than life personality, Mama smiled, and then loudly shared with her admirer, “Come on the next tour honey, we’ll take you out and treat you like an f😊ing goddess.” Like the beautiful phoenix grandly displayed on her arm, Mama, she is arising.
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